“The greatest gift you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.”
– Denis Waitley
Freedom comes with responsibilities. If you want to experience more freedom in your life, you must take on more responsibilities as well.
As an adult you understand the above saying but, as a parent do you really admit it?
We as parents want our children to be responsible enough but are not willing to leave them free to touch the sky.
What are you doing?
You are holding the string to their kite. As cattle is knotted with a string or a rope is directed by someone, you often do the same with your children without considering what they want to do! May be the kite’s heart yearns to “fly high and kiss the Sun”. Though, how can it fly free if the string of its life is held by someone else. Similarly, at times, parents tend to inhibit their child’s flight without even realising it.
Although is it agreeable that the parents should passionately hold the strings for a particular period of time or for a phase when it is really needed or to avoid tragic errors or extreme failure but if you think that you need to tie them up for their better future in the long run, then I am afraid but you may be wrong.
Children should be given the freedom to explore their own world, to fulfil their own dreams as well as needs.
Oscar Arias has rightly pointed out that, “the more freedom we enjoy, the greater the responsibility we bear, toward others as well as ourselves.”
Parents should always be there to light the wisest path for their children, the path that would lead them to a safe and respectful life, but with utmost freedom which every child needs.
Usually, parents think that their parents framed a lot of rules and regulations for them and they were comfortable following those, so why not pass those same rules to their children as well. Thinking so is erroneous as one should always be ready to change with time. Maybe the rule of using electronic gadgets for an hour a day was good for you as per the need of time, but this rule might be a restriction for your child in the present world, at times. Today these electronic gadgets are an essential part of one’s life. Guiding your children well is your responsibility but on the other hand, handling the consequences of over-usage of these gadgets should be the responsibility of the child. Let them be the best judge of their own acceptance of good and bad.
As a survey highlights, “more you tell the child to not do this or that, more the child will be curious to do the same.” Hence, parents should understand that through careful guidance and the balance of freedom and responsibility, your child can cope up with the tough challenges of today’s fascinating world. This balance allows for self-construction of your child. So, don’t create many rules for your children. Take some time to consider, review and evaluate the idea that your child is not at all kite or cattle, whose string is in your hands.
Anne Frank has rightly taught us that, “parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands”.
Parents should act as a mentor to their children rather than acting as a totalitarian. Guide them well but at the same time, let them feel the thorns on the way by their own. Provide them the freedom to decide their direction along with the responsibility of handling the consequences. A child needs both freedom and responsibility conjointly, to become an independent individual in life.